It really annoys me when blokes treat good-looking girls like retarded foreign royalty. If they talked to all girls in the same pedantic, grovelling manner I could probably laugh it off. It’s just so cringingly obvious they’re hoping it will get them laid though. Either come out and just ask for what you really want, fellas or get that sickly soft, high pitched, apologetic tone out of your voice and have some frigging dignity.

Am I really the only one who loves reliving entire relationships through ex's letters over the course of an afternoon with a bottle of Jack Daniels and no trousers? Course I’m not. You’re thinking about it right now. Go on. Do it. Just remember to substitute the bottle of Jack Daniels with a Gabrielle album if you’re female.